Three Tips To Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

Reach Out Today

Life often throws you curve balls that can knock the confidence out of you. Confidence helps individuals feel positive and reassures them that they have what it takes to be successful. When you believe that you can accomplish something, you will feel determined and positive that you can reach your goal.

Many times, self-confidence diminishes when you feel worthless. Healthy self-esteem is necessary in order to walk boldly, and not fear the judgments of others. Having self-esteem will release the strongholds of people-pleasing, and living for the approval of others.

Having confidence and positive self-esteem can help you live a more fulfilling life, and be authentically you. You will be free to take risks, engage more in what you value, and celebrate who you are, instead of what others want you to be.

Here are 3 ways you can build both:

1. Stop Self-Criticism in its Tracks

In order to grow as a person, all of that negative self-talk has to stop. Here’s what you do:

The next time you have a self-critical thought, ask yourself these questions:

What evidence supports this thought?

How is this thought harmful or helpful?

Would my friends and family agree that this thought is true?

There is a very good chance that the answer to these questions will be “no.” When these intrusive thoughts pop up, because they will, ask these same questions to yourself. You will start to consider that you are something more than what your thoughts are telling you. Thoughts are just that thoughts. You have a choice to listen to them or not.

2. Keep a Journal

Not any old journal, but one where you will write down your daily victories! This is a great way to keep track of your accomplishments. Writing things down will help you to realize how much you’ve achieved throughout the week. Success comes in all sizes, so don’t discount anything small! “I finished a tough 20-minute workout.” “I was able to sit through 5 minutes of meditation today.” “I got up early and walked my dogs.” The big ones are nice, too. “I finished a half a marathon” “I was hired as the new director.” I was chosen to lead my school project.” “Write these down every day and whenever you need a confidence boost, reread what you’ve written.

3. Keep Your Commitments

Sitting at home is a sure way to ruminate in those interfering self-critical thoughts. It’s important to get around others, and interact with friends and family. If you agreed to volunteer or participate in something then follow through. Not sticking with your commitments will further negative self-critical thoughts. Empower yourself by making different choices and pushing yourself past your negative thoughts.

Have you been struggling with a lack of confidence or low self-esteem? Are you interested in learning how to live a more meaningful and authentic life? I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

How Therapeutic Massage Supports Nervous System Regulation

February 16, 2026

Understanding how the nervous system responds to prolonged uncertainty helps explain why many people feel physically overwhelmed even when they can’t point to a single cause. The body absorbs what the mind tries to manage. Over time, this accumulation can create patterns of tightness, discomfort, and dysregulation that don’t resolve simply by “relaxing” or pushing through.

Chronic Pain and the Nervous System

January 9, 2026

Living with chronic pain can be confusing—especially when tests come back normal and the discomfort seems to move, flare with stress, or settle into areas like the neck, jaw, hips, or lower back. In many cases, the issue isn’t only muscular or structural. It can be rooted in a nervous system that has learned to stay on high alert after prolonged stress. This post explores how chronic stress can translate into real physical pain, why symptoms may feel unpredictable, and how therapeutic massage and counseling at Soar Therapy and Integrated Wellness can work together to support regulation, reduce flare-ups, and help the body begin to recover.

Stopping Emotional Spiraling with DBT Skills

December 17, 2025

For many adults, emotional spiraling can feel sudden and overwhelming. It might show up as racing thoughts late at night, emotions escalating quickly during conflict, or a minor stressor suddenly feeling unbearable. You may replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, or feel flooded with emotion that seems to take over your body. Even when you know you are spiraling, stopping it can feel impossible.

DBT for Childhood Trauma in Northern Virginia | Skills for Trauma Survivors

December 1, 2025

When Childhood Trauma Still Hurts: How DBT Helps You Cope Today If you grew up in a home where there was chaos, criticism, emotional distance, or things that were never talked about, you might already know that childhood trauma is part of your story. You may have read about trauma, watched videos, or tried to make sense of it on

How DBT Can Help You Manage Anxiety in Northern Virginia

October 27, 2025

If you live in Northern Virginia —maybe near Springfield, Fairfax, or Woodbridge —you don’t need a reminder that life here moves fast. Between long commutes, competitive workplaces, high-performing schools, and the constant pressure to stay ahead, it can feel like you’re always sprinting just to keep up. It’s not unusual to have a demanding job, while working towards an advanced

DBT Skills for Everyday Life: Interpersonal Effectiveness

October 14, 2025

DBT skills for interpersonal effectiveness teach you how to ask for what you need, say no with confidence, and maintain self-respect while building stronger relationships. Discover how DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST can transform your communication and connections.

Why DBT Works for Emotional Dysregulation

October 7, 2025

Emotional dysregulation can make life feel unpredictable and exhausting. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers a structured, skill-based approach to help individuals regain balance, manage emotions, and build healthier relationships. Through mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness, DBT provides real, lasting change for those struggling with intense emotions.

The Transformative Power of DBT Skills Group

September 30, 2025

Are you or someone you care about struggling with overwhelming emotions, impulsive reactions, or challenges in relationships? At Soar Therapy and Integrated Wellness, our DBT Skills Groups are offered twice a year in Springfield, VA, providing a unique opportunity for women and teens in Northern Virginia and the DC Metro area to achieve meaningful and lasting change. What Makes Our

Understanding Internal Family Systems Therapy

September 16, 2025

Many people have never heard of Internal Family Systems therapy, often called IFS therapy, but it is one of the most transformative ways to understand yourself and heal from trauma, anxiety, or depression. IFS, created by Dr. Richard Schwartz, helps us recognize that each of us has different parts inside. These parts often develop in response to painful or difficult

The Healing Power of Massage: In Mind, Body, and Spirit

September 9, 2025

At Soar Therapy and Integrated Wellness in Springfield, VA, we believe that true healing goes beyond talk therapy. For many, the effects of trauma, anxiety, and depression are not just emotional; they are physical, too. The body remembers what the mind cannot always express, and symptoms often show up as persistent tension, aches, and pain. Massage therapy, when integrated into

Interested in our services?

Talk to one of our Client Care Specialists! We provide virtual services for any resident of Virginia. In-person services are available in Springfield, VA

Book A FREE 15-Minute Consult